Every Thought Captive: Six Things I’ve Learned in Six Months of Marriage

I love reading the Bible with Ben! Since we’re coming at the Scriptures from different perspectives, experiences, and upbringings, we often walk away from our times in the Word with a more rounded understanding and insight into what we read because of each other’s input. However, nothing can take the place of one-on-one time with the Lord. As much as I am blessed by the friendship of my husband, it wouldn’t be right for me to expect him to provide things that only the Lord can. I am responsible to grow on my own in the Lord, only now, my relationship with Him more heavily impacts someone else – my spouse. I am Ben’s closest friend and confidant, and can therefore inadvertently cause the most damage or be his wisest counselor, depending on my sensitivity to the Holy Spirit. I am more aware now of the need to stay in tune with the Lord, not just for my sake, but for others as well.

. . . And I believe it’s the best and most rewarding choice a wife can make!! I know being grateful may seem an easier quality for a young bride to have, but I have purposed in my heart to build positive habits at the front end of my marriage, and one of those is to be grateful. :) Gratitude doesn’t mean you are blind to the fact that things may be less than perfect, it means you have made the CHOICE to focus on the positive, and can daily delight in the ways that you have been blessed by the Lord. Honestly, the more I am thankful for the things Ben does for me, the quicker I pick up on those things next time around, because I am subconsciously training my eye to notice them.

3. Contentment will bless your husband . . . and you as well

I put this point after the one on gratitude because I believe it is the fruit of a grateful heart. Busy your heart being grateful for those things which you have been given, and it won’t so easily go wandering off to those things it wishes it had.

Okay, so maybe this one isn’t a news flash to you all, but I just had to drop a little “huh” from this new wife over here. Men take a considerably less amount of time to get ready in the morning than we gals. Just sayin’. The thing is, we’re usually the ones packing the lunch boxes and tidying up the house before heading out the door, too (a little credit here *wink*). I’ve found great benefit in thinking ahead (a work in progress :) ) and doing all that I can while Ben is at work, so as to show respect and value for his time when he returns home by making him my priority, not the laundry, or the dishes, or the bathroom floor.

5. Respond to your husband . . . positively

Why do you think little rascal boys at church find slimy, mucky, squishy toads and stick them in girls’ faces? In my vast experience (take it from the girl whose brothers pin her in the corner, steal the keys to her car, put a smelly shoe over her nose, and change her voicemail greeting before resetting the passcode . . . don't worry, they actually are quite the gentlemen), guys seem to get this playful thrill out of making a girl delightfully irked. Girls who didn’t scream at wiggling snakes were boring, weren’t they, guys? I’ve got yer number. You wanted to scare the one who had the very biggest phobia of anything-reptile. After all, their screams were the loudest and most exciting. On the flip (and possibly more mature) side, guys light up when a girl responds to them. When I thank Benjamin for something, he feels appreciated. He smiles at me and I wink back. He gives me a hug, and I try to hug tighter. He comes up with an idea, and I build on to it. I respond to him. I want him to know I’m interested in him and like his ideas. I make sure he feels wanted by his wife.

6. Your spouse is the awesomest playmate ever

I’m afraid since getting married, I have turned into much more of a kid than I’ve ever been! Pillow fights, pizza and popcorn at midnight, laughing and rambling on meaninglessly until wee hours in the morning, climbing into British forts and discovering old dungeons . . . Ben and I have a blast together. We are “heirs together in the GRACE of life” and joy fills our home, not just because we love each other, but because we love the Lord and He has brought us together to be a picture of Jesus and the church; to rejoice always and love each other as ourselves. Don’t forget – when we do God’s work, in God’s way, we will never lack God’s supply. He is the source of love and joy and that’s why we want to keep Him the center of our marriage!