Qualities of a Good Father / How to Honor Your Father

Now I know that most of the crowd reading this blog isn't particularly concerned with how to be a good father, nor I by any means in a position of telling someone how :) ,  but our family really enjoyed discussing this topic last Sunday and I thought you might also enjoy thinking through some of the things we talked about.

On the top of our list for how to be a godly father was actually that he should first be a good son and marry a good woman (at least that was on the top of my list. haha)! We agreed that truly one of the most influential things in a child's life is that of his or her parent's marriage. I can easily say that those homes I have observed to have happy, strong marriages are the ones that seem to bring up the most joyful, hard-working and secure children. Each of us Schuurmans kids could testify that Mom has consistently respected and supported Dad's decisions throughout their entire marriage, and Dad has made it so easy to honor him by all that he does to win our respect by his faithful, consistent study of the Word of God, love of prayer, diligence, discipline and dependable provision and help. I don't know that we have once seen our parents argue or hardly even disagree (if at all) on anything serious in front of us, but have worked together with mutual respect and honor to provide a spirit of unity in our home. Here are some thoughts from our discussion and Dad's teaching last Sunday:

A Good Father:

1. Gives focused attention
2. Leads by example
3. Respects the power of words - Proverbs 18:21
4. Relates to his children using his own personal examples and testimonies
5. Is merciful and truthful - Proverbs 16:6
6. Is manly - I Corinthians 16:13
7. Finds time for family - Mark 10:14
8. Observes what works - Proverbs 17:10
9. Finds ways to spend time with his children doing something they both love (children quickly pick up on whether or not their father feels obligated to spend time with them)
10. Thinks good thoughts about his children - Malachi 4:6
11. Is consistent
12. Loves his wife - Colossians 3:19
13. Honors his parents - Exodus 20:12
14. Is thankful for his children, seeing them as a reward from God - Psalm 127:3
15. Has a prayer plan - Psalm 55:17
16. Has a Scripture plan - Joshua 1:8
17. Gets his moral life in order - Psalm 101:3
18. Is a servant - Mark 9:35
19. Resolves the anger issue - Proverbs 29:22
20. Apologizes . . .  a lot - Matthew 5:24
21. Is a man of his word
22. Never quits - II Chronicles 15:7

How to Honor Your Father:

1. Don't make fun of him (in front of or behind him)
2. Treat his desires like commands, and do them joyfully
3. Remember his shoulders are bearing many things - II Corinthians 11:26-28
4. Give gravity to what your father says (don't take him lightly)
5. Know that he cares, probably much more than you know - II Samuel 18:33
6. Honor him from the heart (obedience is outward, submission the inward motivation)
7. Pray for him
8. Take counsel
9. Live your life in a way that is a demonstration of his wisdom - Proverbs 10:1
10. Remember you may only have him for a while and won't get another - Genesis 46:29
11. Verbally bless and thank him regularly
12. Be a doer, not a hearer only
13. Study him to know how to show initiative in ways that genuinely bless him
14. Understand he many be silently protecting you from much - Job 1:8
15. Dress well (this may seem like an unusual point, but believe it or not, how you choose to dress very much reflects on the head of your home)
16. Be gracious (he's human, too)
17. Know that to honor him is to honor God - Leviticus 19:32

Do you have any more thoughts you could add to this? What do you especially appreciate about your dad or what insights could you share about how to honor our fathers?

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